Wednesday, July 27, 2011

When should I start preparing for marriage? 

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Summer is a popular time for couples to tie the knot. Wedding bells are most often heard during the months of June, July, and August. Which makes this the perfect time to consider a question I received a few months ago. When should someone start preparing for marriage? 
Scripture teaches that the bond and covenant of marriage is much more than a “civil” ceremony. Rather it is a gift of God; a holy mystery in which man and woman become one flesh - an image of the union between Christ and the Church. This union should be held in the highest regard, faithfully kept pure. But, purity doesn’t began when we meet “Mr. Right,” have a ring on our finger, or say, “I do.” It starts long before most meet their spouse; it starts - now. 
Regardless of your age, relationship status, or desire to marry; preparations start now. In 1 Timothy 5:2 the Apostle Paul tells the young single Pastor Timothy to treat woman with “Absolute Purity.” Paul told the entire congregation Timothy served that there must not even be a “hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity” among them for they are God’s People (Ephesians 5:3). 
Moreover, Hebrews 13:4 says “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Notice the words All and Kept Pure. This doesn’t only extend to those considering marriage or currently married; it applies to all people at all stages of life. For those who are married, they are called to keep their current bed pure, and those who are not are told to protect their future one. 
If one defiles himself before marriage, he betrays his future spouse and defiles their bed. Thus in preparing for marriage, one must carefully watch what they do, how they think, what they wear, what look at, and how they treat and act around the opposite gender (for Paul’s instructions on how to  think about and interact with the opposite gender read 1 Timothy 5:1–2). 
Purity is not only a New Testament teaching. Job made a covenant with His eyes “not to look lustfully at a girl” (Job 31:1), and the sixth commandment forbids adultery. Question 84 in our Catechism asks  “What does God require of us in the sixth commandment?” It provides this explanation, “We must live a chaste and pure life, whether we are married or not, with husband and wife loving and honoring each other.” 
God’s Word is clear. Marriage is holy, should be kept undefiled, and should be protected by all; young, old, married, and singles. This is accomplished as we lead pure and chaste lives in thought, word, and deed. How you are living today will not only effect how but is preparing you for married life. Besides, if you’re kissing (or worse) someone you’re not married to, you’re kissing someone else's spouse. 
Remember: What you do today cannot be taken back later; but what you abstain from and protect now, will bring you much joy in the future.

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